WALL OF DEATH

When the vocalist screams “WAAAAAALL OF DEEEEEEATH, MOTHERFUCKERS!”, here is what happens:

1. The crowd splits into two fronts on the left and right of the pit – the bigger, the better! Ignore the fearless fools dancing in the middle and move to either side unless you are a masochist.

2. Take a breath, relax and glare in a fun, menacingly way at the opposing horde. If you are already terrified at this point, maybe slide toward the back where the collision will be gentler.

3. Think of your loved ones. You will see them again, even though it doesn’t feel like it right now. And take off your glasses if you are still wearing them.

4. Laugh at the inevitable lunatic in the bunny costume doing cartwheels in the no-man’s land between the armies.

5. Channel your inner Scottish Highland warrior and your imaginary claymore sword, while you think about Mel Gibson with blue warpaint on half of his face screaming ”HOOOOLD” and wait for the drummer’s cue before the breakdown.

6. Then charge forward screaming, as if your student loan would be let off if you just hit the other army hard enough. Protect your face with your hands, but don’t lead with your elbows – this is a friendly clash of titans.

7. If someone goes down, become the Valkyrie you were born to be and help them up instantly. Hopefully, they are okay when you brush off the dust and get them up, but if they seem to require further assistance, please don’t hesitate to escort them to our medics or the Safe & Sound tent in the festival’s entrance area.

Remember: Walls of death are voluntary, stupid and utterlig fantastic!